[the gesture helps him a little, it's grounding and easy to focus on, though it brings on a fresh set of tears too. his grip tightens on kuro's shirt.]

So I should... talk to them, or at least see if they'll see me, right..? And talk to Baba. [nothing has ever felt harder in his entire life than these sets of actions.] What if they don't want anythin' to do with me still? I mean, I was disowned for a reason, you know? 'Cause I ran away, 'cause I didn't agree with 'em, and... and now Tsuka-tan's the only son the Suzakura has ever had.

[which has

never

been fair in his eyes, really, but not out of some selfish desire to have it all. leo's fine with having his own name. but to place that burden entirely on someone else? to have high expectations and be expected to take over a shrine, no buts about it? tsukasa could do so much more with his life, and it's leo's fault he can't.]

They might not even let me see Baba. [it's a terrifying truth. he rests his head against kuro again, sighing out his nose.] I'll... sneak in if that's the case, but I don't really want to.